


Don't Make Me Beg

by CelestialWolf72



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Voldemort, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Mutual Pining, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:02:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28833111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelestialWolf72/pseuds/CelestialWolf72
Summary: Sirius has never had sex. Not because he doesn't want to, it's just never felt right. Eventually, and with the help of a significant amount of firewhiskey, he decides to take matters into his own hands and asks a certain werewolf for help.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 34
Kudos: 187





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Brief mentions of past abuse (Sirius' family are trash we all know this). It's very brief and this is not intended to be a heavy fic, but it's there so I wanted to mention it. If you want to skip it it's towards the end of the chapter when they're in their flat, stop when Sirius says "Yeah no" and start again at "Remus linked their fingers together".   
> This is only in chapter 1, there's no warnings for chapter 2 (apart from explicit sexual content but if you clicked on this fic I'm guessing you're already okay with that!).
> 
> Look after yourselves!

"I declare it time for shots!"

Sirius snorted with laughter as James yelled loud enough for half the bar to hear, standing proudly on his chair. One of the girls at the bar shot him an annoyed look as Remus coaxed him down off the chair to sit beside him, grinning at the drunken state of his friend. Sirius had no idea how James had managed to get drunker than any of them, but then he'd always been a lightweight. Lily, who was sat next to him, still looked calm and composed despite having had at least twice the amount her fiancé had.

"I'll get them Prongs, stop yelling or they won't let us back in." Sirius said, standing up and ruffling James' hair on his way to the bar. James squawked indignantly and attempted to flatten his mop of wild hair.

Sirius leaned against the bar until he caught Abbie's eye. Despite her clear annoyance with James, she moved towards him quickly with a smile. Sirius had gotten a job as a bartender at the bar almost as soon as they'd left Hogwarts five months ago. It felt good to be working, earning his money rather than just living off someone else's as had always been expected of him.

Technically he didn't need to work; his uncle Alphard had left him a small fortune, plus the flat Sirius now shared with Remus, when he died partway through their seventh year. Sirius hadn't known Alphard all that well, but he was kind and generous and open-minded and the first person Sirius had felt comfortable to come out to when he was sixteen. He was everything the Blacks weren't and Sirius was endlessly grateful to him for everything he'd done.

"How is your mate so drunk already?" Abbie said as she poured out a seemingly endless amount of shots plus a couple of glasses of good, aged firewhiskey.

"Couldn't tell you." Sirius smirked, glancing over to where James was now cuddled up to Lily, his head resting on her shoulder. "Maybe a glass of water as well, don't want him throwing up before we get him home."

"Hmm good idea," Abbie laughed, "If he pukes, you're cleaning it up Black."

"Deal." Sirius grinned, putting far too many galleons on the bar. "Get yourself something and come join us if you like."

"Might take you up on that." Abbie smiled at him, her expression distinctly flirtatious.

Sirius winked and flicked his wand so the tray of drinks followed him back to the table, settling gently in the middle. Abbie had gotten distinctly more flirty with him recently and it wasn't as though he minded; she was funny and clever and frankly gorgeous and Sirius definitely flirted back. While it was fun and flirting was something that he did almost without thinking, the idea of it actually leading anywhere made his stomach flip unpleasantly.

Trying to ignore these thoughts, Sirius sat down and stopped James from immediately reaching for a shot, passing him the glass of water instead.

"Drink this first Prongs, you'll feel better."

"Awwwwww Padfoot's taking care of me!" James cooed, beaming at him and sipping at his water.

"He's gonna take your role as the Mother Hen, Prongs." Peter laughed, passing around the shot glasses before raising an eyebrow at Sirius. "Why are there only two glasses of firewhiskey?"

"For me and Moony." Sirius said, shrugging and trying to ignore the look Lily was giving him.

Remus smiled, looking surprised and took a sip of the fiery liquid, savouring the taste. It was the most expensive one they served and it was incredible. Sirius felt a warmth bloom in his chest at the look of pleasure on Remus' face as he tasted the whiskey; it had always been his favourite but something he couldn't often afford. Sirius had expected Remus to put up more of a fight about Sirius buying him an expensive drink, but instead he just shot Sirius a secret little smile that made his heart flutter. Sirius chose not to examine this response too closely.

"I like whiskey." James said, a definite pout coming on.

"We all like whiskey Prongs, but apparently only a few are enjoying it tonight." Peter said, smirking at Sirius who hoped the blush on his cheeks wasn't obvious.

"He's just getting on my good side so I won't complain about having to carry him home later." Remus said, making Peter laugh and James collapse into a fit of drunken giggles.

The shots were barely polished off before they were joined by Abbie and a grumpy-looking Marlene, who had just gotten out of work. Retail was not Marlene's natural habitat and she downed three gin and tonics while complaining about her last customer of the day.

It didn't take long for the rest of the group to catch up with James. Sirius and Abbie kept a steady stream of drinks coming and soon even Remus, whose werewolf metabolism meant he was the best at handling his drink, was a little more flushed and giggly than usual.

"Sirius Black," Marlene said, pointing at him accusingly over her sixth gin and tonic. Sirius raised an eyebrow at her as she narrowed her eyes at him. "Where are all the lesbians?"

"I - what?" Sirius asked, laughing at her disgruntled expression.

"This bar of yours is _extremely_ heterosexual and I'm not here for it." Marlene was still pointing at him as if it was his fault there was no one in the vicinity for her to flirt with.

"There's literally two blokes going at it on the other side of the bar." Remus said, watching Marlene huff with an amused expression on his face.

"I don't care about _men_ where are all the attractive women who want to sit on my face?" Marlene whined, making Remus laugh.

He was looking particularly good tonight; caramel curls falling into his eyes that were more amber than green this close to the full moon. He'd had enough to drink that his usual self-consciousness seemed to have disappeared and he'd taken his jumper off, revealing the deliciously tight t-shirt underneath which showed off his surprisingly toned arms and-

"Earth to Black!"

Sirius jumped and zoned back into the conversation to find Marlene snapping her fingers in front of his face.

"What?"

"You don't seem particularly concerned with my plight!"

"Marls, I love you I really do, but no I am not overly bothered that there's no one here for you to shag." Sirius said, grinning as Remus snorted with laughter again. Marlene threw a napkin at him, tossing her blond hair back and pouting. "I can't just conjure you a lesbian Marls-"

"I can." Remus said and Marlene whipped around to face him. He nodded his head at a tall girl around their age who was leaning against the bar. She was dressed in tight jeans and a sheer top, showing off the intricate tattoos decorating her dark skin. She was exactly Marlene's type.

Remus grinned. "That girl over there has been checking you out for the last five minutes."

Marlene turned in her seat, catching the woman's eye and giving her a seductive smile.

"Remus Lupin you absolute angel."

With that, she was up out of her seat and making her way over to the other woman, who looked distinctly pleased with this outcome.

"Well that's the last we'll see of her tonight, you're such a good wingman Rem." Lily said, running her hand affectionately through James' hair.

"Our Moony is usually the one off fucking in the toilets." James said, still rather giggly. "He's nearly as bad as Padfoot."

Sirius shifted in his seat but just scoffed, trying not to let his discomfort show. "Shut up Prongs, I don't know where I've got this reputation from."

"From you fucking half the girls in our year probably." Peter mumbled. His eyes were drooping, as they always did when he drank too much.

"I think it's time for bed for old Wormtail." Sirius said, pleased to have an excuse to talk about something else. He drained the rest of his glass and raised an eyebrow at Remus who nodded and finished the rest of his own drink.

"Come on Wormy, let's get you to bed." Remus said, standing and gently pulling Peter up with him.

"Probably a good idea to get this one home as well." Lily said, smiling softly at James as he pressed a sloppy kiss to her neck where his face was still resting.

"Bedtime, Lilyflower." James mumbled.

"Yeah, bedtime Jamie." Lily said, pulling him up gently and only stumbling slightly herself.

"You alright to get home Lils?" Sirius said as they all gathered their things, bidding goodnight to Abbie who headed back towards the bar.

"I'm fine to apparate, unlike some people I know how to pace myself." She said, laughing at James who was swaying slightly as he tried to boop Remus on the nose.

"Why are you so tall?" James grumbled. Remus, who was still supporting a half-asleep Peter, let out a long-suffering sigh and leaned down so James could poke him on the nose. "Boop boop!"

"Fucks sake Prongs," Remus said, but he was grinning.

Marlene was still chatting up the girl at the bar and waved them off happily as their little group stumbled past. Once they were outside in the cool evening breeze, James and Lily bid them goodnight before Lily apparated them both back to their flat.

Peter woke up enough in the fresh air to insist he was fine to get home himself and apparated away before either Sirius or Remus could argue.

Sirius looked at Remus who smiled and shrugged, before falling into step beside him as they started heading back through the quiet streets. The bar was only a few streets away from their flat in Soho and walking back in the cool autumn breeze was refreshing after the stuffiness of the bar.

They walked back in comfortable silence for a few minutes, Remus humming softly under his breath.

"You didn't fancy staying with Abbie then?"

"What?" Sirius asked, glancing sideways at Remus who had an unreadable expression on his face.

"Abbie. She is _very_ keen on you, in case you hadn't noticed."

"I - I guess." Sirius shrugged, his heart beating faster. How were they talking about this again?

"You could've stayed with her you know, you didn't have to come back with me."

Sirius looked at Remus then, frowning, and answered before he'd had time to think through his answer. "I wanted to come back with you."

Remus' eyes widened and Sirius felt his face heat. He stumbled to correct himself, "I - I mean I didn't want to stay any longer. Nothing's going on with Abbie, believe me."

"Okay," Remus said, fingers fiddling idly with the hem of his jumper. "It could if you wanted it to you know."

"I suppose."

"The great Sirius Black isn't suddenly shy when it comes to women, surely?" Remus said, his tone was teasing and he was smiling, but Sirius felt his stomach flip unpleasantly.

"Why does everyone assume I'm such a fuckboy?" Sirius snapped.

"I don't think - that's not what I meant Pads."

"I haven't even had sex and everyone assumes I'm just some sort of fucking Casanova." Sirius grumbled, kicking at a discarded can that was in his path.

"What?"

Sirius looked over to see Remus staring at him, eyes wide and a distinctly surprised expression on his face.

_Fuck_.

"Ah - er yeah." Sirius ran a hand through his hair, a definite blush on his cheeks now. The anxiety was back, fluttering in his stomach and making his heart beat faster.

"You're - I mean you haven't ever...?" Remus said quietly.

"No." Sirius mumbled, letting out a long breath. "Everyone just assumes..."

Remus was quiet for a moment as they kept walking. Sirius felt as though his face was on fire.

"I'm sorry for assuming." Remus said, his voice quiet.

"No I - I didn't mean you." Sirius said, offering his friend a weak smile. "Everyone at school, I think girls just claimed they'd done a whole bunch of things with me and I didn't correct them. It was just easier not to, so obviously you're going to believe it."

"Right."

Sirius bit his lip, feeling distinctly uncomfortable. "Don't tell the others."

Remus nodded. "Course not."

"It's embarrassing."

"It's not-"

"It is."

"It really isn't Pads."

Remus had stopped walking and grabbed Sirius' hand to pull him to a stop as well. They were almost back at the flat and the street around them was deserted.

Sirius huffed. "It's not something I want broadcasting though."

"That's completely fair, but it's still not embarrassing. Everyone's different Sirius; some people wait to have sex, some don't have sex at all. It all depends on what you want; don't go by someone else's timetable." Remus' voice was soft and he still held onto Sirius' hand. "And anyway, sex is a social construct."

Sirius huffed out a laugh. "Yeah, I guess."

Remus smiled, a full bright smile this time. "Come on, I want some chocolate."

Sirius grinned and followed Remus the last few steps to the door of their building. They let themselves in and climbed the two flights up to their flat, kicking of their shoes as soon as they were over the threshold. Sirius flopped onto the sofa as Remus headed straight for the stash of chocolate he always kept in the kitchen.

"Re?" Sirius said, leaning his head back against the sofa and closing his eyes. He heard Remus hum as the sofa next to him dipped and he felt the warmth of the other man pressing into his side. "Do you like it?"

"What?"

"Sex."

He heard Remus snort and smiled, the alcohol loosening his tongue and making him feel more comfortable talking about this than he ever had before.

"Yes Pads, I like sex."

Sirius opened his eyes and flopped his head to the side looking at Remus' amused face. He looked _so_ fucking good, even the way he was sucking on a piece of chocolate was attractive in Sirius' alcohol-clouded gaze.

"I think I would too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Sirius hummed thoughtfully. "I like it when I do it myself and I think it'd be better with - you know, someone else."

The amused expression was gone and Remus was looking at him curiously. "Then why haven't you done it with someone else?"

Sirius shrugged, "Dunno."

"We don't have to talk about this Pads-"

"No, it's fine. I mean - I _don't_ like talking about it, usually. But it's okay with you."

Remus ducked his head, a small smiled on his lips. "Okay, good."

"I don't know why I haven't done it." Sirius mused, tracing his fingers lightly over the fabric of the sofa. "The idea of being with someone I don't know is...scary. Being so open and vulnerable and giving a part of yourself to someone else? It's just too much."

Remus was quiet for a moment before speaking, "It doesn't have to be like that you know. You don't have to give part of yourself to someone else, you can just have fun with it."

"I know," Sirius sighed, feeling too drunk and far too tired to know how to fully express himself. "It just feels like a big deal. And I've got no idea what I'm doing and I don't like that."

Remus nodded, still looking at him with a gentle expression and Sirius felt almost compelled to keep talking, wanting to open up to those big amber eyes. "Sex isn't something that's spoken about in the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black. I'm pretty sure my parents only had sex twice for the sole purpose of getting an heir and a spare. I was always told to marry a girl from a good family and 'do my duty' and that was it."

"Doesn't sound like the kind of environment that's going to make you feel comfortable to explore sex." Remus said quietly.

"Yeah no," Sirius stole the last piece of Remus' chocolate bar and chewed slowly. "She caught me wanking once and locked me in the cellar for a week."

Remus didn't say anything and after a few moments of silence, Sirius looked over to see Remus staring at him, a mixture of shock and anger on his face.

"What?"

"She - she - _fuck Pads,_ how old were you?"

Sirius just shrugged, "About fourteen."

"I -" Remus seemed to struggle for a moment to find the words. Sirius let out a breath, sometimes he forgot that punishments like that weren't normal.

"It's fine Re-"

"It's not fine!" Remus took a deep breath. "I'm sorry Pads, it's not fine at all. But we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"I don't need to talk about it."

"Okay."

"It is what it is, I can't change what happened." He reached out and took Remus' hand, fiddling with his fingers and ignoring the look of surprise on the other man's face. "I only said 'cause that's why it's such a big deal for me I think. It's...difficult sometimes."

Remus linked their fingers together and Sirius looked up, offering a small smile.

"Thank you for telling me." Remus said quietly, squeezing his hand.

There was a few moments of silence before; "We should have sex."

If Remus had looked surprised before it was nothing compared to how he looked now. _"What?"_

Sirius felt his face flush as his brain caught up to what he'd just said. It seemed obvious now; Remus was the person he felt most comfortable with and the only person he'd felt able to open up to about this. They'd known each other for years and had lived together for most of that time. There was nothing Remus didn't know about him and even after the revelations this evening, he wasn't looking at Sirius any differently or making him feel uncomfortable about anything he'd said.

And Sirius was well aware that he found Remus attractive. Very, _very_ attractive.

"Where did that come from?" Remus asked, looking bewildered.

"I was just thinking, I feel comfortable with you and I _want_ to do it." He sat up straighter, turning to face Remus. "I'm attractive, you're attractive, why not?"

Remus was still looking at him as though he'd grown an extra head. "I'm not a girl."

"I'm well aware of that Moons."

"But you're - you could have anyone."

Sirius frowned. "I don't want anyone, I want you."

Remus' eyes widened, but Sirius didn't miss the faint flush on his tanned skin, the way his pupils dilated at Sirius' words.

"We're friends, I think it would be good." Sirius said, too distracted by what he'd just inadvertently admitted to come up with anything more articulate. "Unless you don't want to."

Remus scoffed at that, "Don't be stupid, of course I want to."

"Oh yeah?" Sirius said, feeling the air in the room shift to something charged and intense. His gaze dropped to Remus' full lips.

He felt his heart beating faster, a fluttering in his stomach that was a mixture of nerves and anticipation.

_It's okay; it's Moony._

Looking up into those amber eyes was instantly calming, something he always felt when around Remus. But now there was a definite spark of desire as he looked into eyes that were full of lust.

Before he knew it Remus had leaned forward, lips hovering over his own.

"Can I kiss you?"

His voice was so quiet Sirius barely heard it, breath washing over his own lips. He nodded, too excited and nervous to think about how eager he looked, and Remus pressed their lips together so lightly the pressure was barely there.

Sirius gasped and leaned into the kiss, fingers instantly winding into Remus' soft curls and pulling him closer. Remus leaned forwards, arms sliding around Sirius' waist, large hands gripping his hips lightly. Sirius opened his mouth and deepened the kiss, feeling sparks of pleasure running through his body as Remus' tongue slid tantalisingly over his own.

Suddenly Remus pulled away, breaking the kiss and pressing his forehead to Sirius', eyes closed and breathing heavily.

"What? What did I do?" Sirius asked breathlessly.

Remus opened his eyes and smiled reassuringly. "You didn't do anything. Fuck Sirius, that was hot."

Sirius bit his lip, "Yeah?"

"Fuck yeah." Remus muttered, a shy smile on his face.

"Then why aren't we still doing it?"

Remus chuckled, the sound filling Sirius with warmth. "Because if we carry on I won't be able to stop."

"So?"

Remus smiled and gave him the lightest peck on the lips. Sirius pouted when he pulled away.

"We're drunk, it doesn't feel right."

Sirius barely restrained from rolling his eyes. "It's fine-"

"Ask me again tomorrow." Remus said quietly, "Ask me again tomorrow when we're sober and you know exactly what you want. Ask me then and I'll do whatever you want, anytime you want."

Sirius felt the desire flare up again at those words, "Yeah?"

"Promise." Remus grinned again before pushing himself up from the sofa and laughing a little self-consciously. "Right, bed."

"Yeah, yeah good idea." Sirius stretched luxuriously and felt Remus' eyes drifting down his body, lingering on the strip of skin revealed as his t-shirt rode up.

"Want to cuddle?" Remus asked, pulling Sirius up from the sofa. They always cuddled up in Remus' bed to sleep after they'd been drinking; alcohol made Sirius' nightmares worse and sleeping with Remus always calmed him.

"Yeah," Sirius said, relieved that everything that'd happened this evening hadn't changed their friendship. It made him feel better to know that, no matter what, things wouldn't change between them. He smiled at Remus and followed him into his room, feeling distinctly happy and content as they curled up together under the duvet, just as they'd done hundreds of times before.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how people manage to update regularly! I'm sorry this is so late, but I hope you all enjoy it anyway :) 
> 
> (this chapter is basically just smut, you have been warned)

Sirius spent most of the next day back at the pub from the night before, unfortunately for him this time he was working. An early shift at the bar means the busy lunch run and too many drunk students piling in from the University of Magical Arts that was located a few minutes away. By the time he finally got home it was gone 8pm and he was exhausted, ready to just collapse in bed and try to forget about the six foot guy who was built like a house and had almost knocked Sirius out when he'd refused to serve him another beer.

"Alright?"

Sirius turned at the sound of the soft voice to see Remus curled up in the corner of the sofa, a mug of tea in his hands and a book perched on his lap. He smiled and patted the cushions beside him.

Sirius kicked off his shoes and flopped down beside his friend, immediately shuffling closer to put his head in the werewolf's lap. Remus chuckled and threaded his hand through Sirius' hair, massaging his scalp in a way that made him moan aloud.

Remus cleared his throat and shifted slightly, making Sirius look up at him. "How was your shift?"

"Horrible, nearly got decked by some prick who'd couldn't take no for an answer."

Remus laughed, "Oh dear."

"Yeah, it was not a fun time."

Sirius groaned and turned to bury his face in the sofa, but which actually turned out to be Remus' groin given how he was lying. He tried not to let this fact bother him until he felt something hard under his cheek.

"Re?"

Remus gently lifted Sirius up off his lap and sat back, bringing his knees up in front of him. He had an embarrassed flush on his cheeks and was biting his lip in a way that was far too enticing.

"I - look you start moaning like that with your head in my lap...who wouldn't find that hot?" Remus huffed slightly then let out a breath. "I'm sorry Pads, it's just after our talk yesterday...it's a physical reaction I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable-"

"Moony!"

Remus blinked at him, his cheeks still flushed. "Sorry."

"Stop apologising!" Sirius could feel himself grinning and had to bite back a laugh.

_How is he so cute?_

"Re, stop apologising. I'm the one who lay in your lap and I cannot express how much I don't mind your... _reaction_ to me."

Remus rolled his eyes and Sirius actually did laugh this time.

"You're a prick sometimes." Remus said, but he was smiling. "So, what do you think about...um, what we were talking about yesterday?"

Sirius tried to supress another grin. He couldn't help but find it completely adorable that Remus, despite being the experienced one here, was clearly nervous about the whole thing. It made him feel calmer, more confident even, to know that he wasn't the only one who was apprehensive.

"I still think it's something I want." Sirius said, running a hand through his hair and looking away. "I've wanted this for a while... We go out and there's people I'm attracted to, people I _definitely_ think about asking to come back for the night-"

Remus snorted and Sirius let out a small laugh as well, his self-consciousness ebbing away at the familiar sound.

"-but I just bottle it. Feels too big, too scary; like I'll be too vulnerable or something. It's like the walls will come crumbling down and I won't be able to put them back up."

"Do you want to put them back up?" Remus asked quietly.

Sirius shrugged. "Depends I guess."

"On what?"

"Who it is." Sirius looked back at Remus to find him staring at him steadily.

"Is that why you want it to be me?"

"You know me inside and out." Sirius couldn't help a small grin at the possible innuendo. Remus rolled his eyes and Sirius sat up straighter, throwing his arms up triumphantly. "See! You knew I wanted to make that joke, I didn't even have to say it."

"Yeah 'cause you've been making those jokes for years."

"That's what I mean! I feel comfortable with you."

Remus grin turned into a soft smile. "Okay."

"Okay?" Sirius said, anticipation bubbling up in his stomach.

"Yeah, I think it could be fun." Remus was looking at him with an expression full of lust, the air in the room having quickly become thick with tension.

Sirius' heart started beating faster, the way Remus was looking at him made him want to squirm with nerves and arousal.

"So, how do we...?" Sirius said quietly, the feeling of not knowing what he was doing welling up inside him again.

Remus leaned forwards, backing Sirius into the corner of the sofa and setting his arms on either side of his head. Sirius' breathing was starting to come faster; Remus was so close, strong muscled arms practically caging him in.

"What do you want Pads?" Remus' voice was so low and deep it was almost a fucking _purr_.

Sirius' voice was breathier than he would've liked. "I thought we just discussed that."

"Hmmm," Remus leaned in even closer, his lips ghosting over Sirius'. "What about the specifics? What do you want me to do to you? What do you want to do to me?"

"Oh Merlin," Sirius gasped as Remus brushed their lips together ever so slightly before trailing soft kisses over Sirius' cheek, biting gently at his jaw. "Anything, everything."

"Mmhmm while that sounds fun, I still thinks specifics might be nice." Sirius had never known Remus' voice could go this deep and it was _doing things_ to him. "For example I would really, _really_ like to suck your cock."

"Oh fuck," Sirius tilted his head to the side to allow Remus better access to his neck. "I want that too."

"And I think you would look so fucking _beautiful_ on your knees for me."

Sirius felt a rush of arousal flood through him, his cock already hard and he was unable to stop himself canting his hips against Remus' leg when the other man slid it between Sirius' thighs.

"Moony," He groaned, hands running up Remus' back and along his strong shoulders.

"I love it when you call me that but hearing you moan it in your gorgeous voice...fuck Sirius." Remus murmured. "I want to fuck you so bad Pads, god I want you."

"Yes, yes." Sirius felt like a mess, his hair was coming down from it's bun and he knew he was flushed. He was still grinding against Remus' thigh and finally, _finally_ Remus moved so they were face to face once more. Sirius couldn't wait any longer; he felt the tension coiling inside him and thought he might snap if he didn't do something soon.

Sliding his hands to the back of Remus' neck, Sirius pulled the other man in so their lips met in a frantic and eager kiss. Remus groaned into his mouth and Sirius actually felt his cock _twitch_ in his too-tight jeans at the sound.

Breaking the kiss Remus looked down at him for a moment, pupils blown wide and his curls falling into his face. Sirius reached up and tucked Remus' hair back, running his fingers through the soft locks for a moment. Remus looked at him with a curious expression on his face.

Sirius cleared his throat, "Bedroom?"

A wide grin spread over Remus' face and he instantly pushed himself up. "Oh hell yes, come on."

Sirius walked into his room, trying to control his breathing as the nerves surged again. He felt Remus link their fingers together and pull Sirius gently around to face him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah." Sirius let out a long breath. _It's only Remus._ "I don't know."

"Sirius you say stop, we stop." Remus said, gripping his hand tightly. "You are in control here, we will only do exactly what you want; nothing more."

"Yeah I know-"

"And there is nothing you can't say to me." Remus' voice was quiet and he pressed a soft kiss to Sirius' forehead. "This is meant to be fun, yeah? If either of us don't enjoy something or don't feel good in any way then we stop and we talk about it."

Sirius nodded, the tight feeling in his chest loosening considerably.

"That sounds good."

Remus grinned again and started walking him backwards until the back of his legs hit the bed. He nearly fell but Remus' arm around his waist kept him upright as he brought him in for another searing kiss. Sirius melted into it and the kiss quickly became heated, both of them breathing hotly into each other's mouths. Fingers scrabbled with clothing until they were both completely bare.

Sirius had seen Remus naked plenty of times before, but after a full moon when he was left broken and bleeding on the floor, checking him out wasn't exactly on Sirius' list of priorities.

He was _gorgeous._

His long limbs were a dark olive and lightly muscled, a smattering of hair on his chest leading in a tantalising line down his stomach towards what was an impressively large cock.

"Holy fuck."

Remus actually _blushed._ How was it possible for him to look both godly and completely innocent at the same time?

The look on Remus gave him as he took in Sirius' naked form was so full of lust that he couldn't help smirking. Sirius knew he was attractive, that he had a conventionally nice face and body. It wasn't something he'd ever been particularly proud of; attractive genes from a family of racist, homophobic bigots was hardly something to be pleased about.

The look on Remus' face as his eyes traced up and down his naked body was almost enough to make him change his mind.

They looked at each other for a moment before colliding once more and falling back on the bed in a tangle of limbs. Sirius ended up on top of Remus, legs on either side of the other man's hips so their cocks brushed together. Remus let out a strangled moan.

They kissed for a few more minutes, slow and lazy and sensual; at complete odds with the fevered way they'd practically ripped each other's clothes off.

Sirius pulled back and looked down at Remus, his breathing considerably heavier. "What now?"

Remus grinned and gripped Sirius' hips just tight enough for images of Remus manhandling him to float across his mind. He felt his cock pulse at the thought and couldn't help grinding his hips down once more, the man below him groaning appreciatively.

"What do you want to do?"

"Everything."

"Helpful." Remus rolled his eyes but Sirius didn't miss the look of desire in his eyes. "Get on your back?"

Sirius didn't have to be asked twice and immediately switched places with Remus so he could lie on his back on the bed, the other man situating himself between his spread thighs.

"Oh fuck," Sirius muttered, excitement and apprehension spreading through him.

Remus had leaned down a licked a long slow stripe up his cock. His curls were falling into his amber eyes and once again he was managing to exude both adorable innocence and absolute debauchery in one look.

Sirius squirmed as Remus pressed feather light kisses to his thighs and the sharp v of his hips, deliberately missing his cock.

"Mooooony," Sirius whined, attempting to buck his hips against the hands holding him to the bed.

"Yes Padfoot?" The tone of his voice was _far_ too innocent given the position they were in.

"Don't make me beg."

"Oh baby," Remus breathed, finally leaning down and swirling his tongue around the head of his cock. "I bet you sound _so pretty_ when you beg."

Sirius' reply was cut off with a gasp as his cock was engulfed in wet, scorching heat. His hands scrabbled on the bed and he reached down to tangle his fingers in that soft brown hair. His back arched off the mattress as he felt his cock hit the back of Remus' throat.

"Oh Merlin, Re-"

Remus hummed around his cock, the vibration making Sirius' toes curl and started to bob his head in a rhythm that was fucking _incredible_. When he'd thought about sleeping with someone he hadn't imagined it could be like _this._ So intense and overwhelming and fucking incredible all at once. But then again he should never have doubted Moony.

Sirius felt his orgasm building up and he pushed slightly at Remus' shoulder until the other man pulled off his cock with a distinctly lewd popping sound that made Sirius flush right down to his chest.

"Too close Moons."

Remus grinned smugly and crawled back up his body to press a hard, hot kiss to his lips. Remus bit gently at his bottom lip and soothed the sting with his tongue.

"God, your cock is perfect." Remus whispered, a beautiful new roughness to his voice. "I want it inside me."

"Oh fuck, yes." Sirius moaned, gripping the back of Remus' head to pull him into another sloppy kiss.

Remus pulled back and grinned at him. "Do you want to fuck me?"

Sirius' hips jerked forwards. "Yeah...yes I - yes."

"Okay good, that's good." Remus smiled, somehow managing to look shy. "Have you ever fingered anyone before?"

Sirius shrugged, "Yeah, not a guy though."

"It's a little different." Remus leaned over him to scramble around in the bedside table for a moment, returning with a condom and a small bottle of lube.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure there's a spell for that."

"This way's better." Remus said, handing him the bottle and lying back down on the bed, guiding Sirius to kneel before him. "Do you want me to prepare myself or do you want to do it?"

"I'll do it." Sirius replied almost before Remus had finished speaking, making the other man chuckle.

"Okay, just a bit of lube and go slow, one finger at a time." Remus said, hoisting his legs up towards his chest and opening himself up. Sirius felt his mouth go dry at the sight.

"Okay, okay." Sirius muttered to himself, uncapping the bottle and coating a few fingers before running his hands down the other man's thighs. Slowly stroking his finger over the tight pucker between Remus' cheeks, Sirius let out a deep breath, his heart beating fast with nerves and arousal.

"Go for it Pads, you won't hurt me."

"Promise?" Sirius whispered, a warm feeling blooming in his chest at the realisation that Remus already knew exactly what was making him hesitate.

"Promise." Remus gently gripped his wrist and brought his hand back down between his legs. "It's been a while so go slow, but you won't hurt me."

Sirius pressed against the ring of muscle, slowly exerting pressure until his finger popped inside and he was able to slide it in as far as it would go before pulling back.

"Mmmm," The moan sounded low in Remus' throat and he reached down to stroke his cock lazily as Sirius fingered him. "Come on Pads, another."

Sirius slipped in another finger easily, the silky, wet heat making him feel almost dizzy with want. It didn't take long for him to start feeling braver and soon he was fucking Remus with his fingers.

"Oh fuck!" Remus gasped suddenly, making Sirius jump and freeze.

"What, what? Did I hurt you?"

Remus shook his head and grabbed Sirius' arm, encouraging him to move again. "No, no baby that was good, so _good."_

Sirius felt himself flush with pleasure at Remus calling him baby. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, you hit my prostate. Curl your fingers - yeah just like that." Remus arched his back and let out the most beautiful sound Sirius had ever heard. "Feel that? That's my prostate and it feels fucking amazing."

Sirius aimed for that spot, determined to hear Remus make that noise again. Stretching his fingers at Remus' instruction Sirius felt his cock throbbing with arousal at the thought that he was stretching Remus out in preparation to fuck him.

"Okay, okay I'm ready." Remus eventually panted, sitting up and pulling Sirius into a hard kiss. He pushed himself up and turned over so he was on his hands and knees in front of him.

"You look fucking amazing." Sirius whispered, not really meaning to say it out loud. He saw Remus flush and felt his own cheeks burn in response.

"Come on Pads," Remus dropped down onto his forearms, making his ass stick up in the air and his back arch in a way that was so incredibly sinful Sirius had to squeeze the base of his cock to try to calm down.

Grabbing the condom, he ripped the packet open with shaking fingers and rolled it down over his almost painfully hard cock. He rested one hand on Remus' hip, the other guiding the tip to press against his hole.

"Ready?" Sirius said, his voice barely a whisper.

"Yeah," Remus replied and Sirius pushed gently, the head of his cock slipping into the tight embrace of his friend's body.

"Oh Merlin, Re." Sirius groaned, fingers digging into Remus' skin. "Okay?"

"Yeah, keep going."

Sirius pushed forwards, watching the way his cock slipped into the tight hole until he bottomed out, his hips pressed against the plump globes of Remus' ass. Sirius squeezed his eyes shut. _Fuck, fuck, fuck._

"Re, Re..." Sirius panted, holding still and leaning forward to pepper kisses to the back of Remus' neck and shoulders. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Remus' voice was slightly strained and he was panting.

"Moony-"

"No, Sirius. It's good I promise, it's just been a while since I did this last and it's always a little uncomfortable at first."

Sirius stayed as still as he could, kissing and sucking marks into Remus' scarred skin. Staying still became increasingly more difficult when Remus started to rhythmically clench around his cock, the muscles squeezing him in a way that made it almost torture not to thrust his hips forwards.

"Moony..." Sirius whined, burying his face in Remus' neck and feeling the other man chuckle.

"Didn't think you'd last this long, since when were you this patient?"

Sirius huffed, pretending to be offended. "You have no faith in me Moonbeam."

Remus laughed and turned his head to look at him, grinning in a way that was too full of genuine amusement to be considered seductive, but Sirius still found it insanely attractive. "Come on Pads, show me what you got."

Sirius started to move, tentatively at first before growing more confident at Remus' moan of pleasure. He began pulling out and thrusting back in faster and harder, the sound of their skin slapping together and their gasps of pleasure filling the room. Sirius leaned forwards, balancing on one arm so he could wrap his hand around Remus' cock and thrust into him at the same time.

Remus moaned the loudest yet as Sirius started stroking him. The sounds Remus was making combined with the tight heat around his cock and the feel of Remus' gorgeous cock in his hand pushed Sirius to the brink of orgasm embarrassingly quickly.

"Fuck, I'm close," Sirius gasped, resting his forehead on Remus' back as he continued to thrust into him.

"Oh god, yes Pads." Remus gasped. "Let me ride you."

Sirius actually felt his cock _throb_ at that. "Oh hell yeah."

He pulled out and flopped onto his back as Remus sat up, quickly swinging a leg over his hips. He rose up slightly on his knees and Sirius gripped his waist both to ground himself and try to help Remus lower himself down slowly onto his hard cock.

"Fuck, _fuck..._ oh Merlin..." Sirius moaned, squeezing his eyes shut at the sensation and throwing his head back against the pillow.

"Mmmm, feels so good doesn't it baby?" Remus' voice was more of a purr again and it made Sirius shiver with desire.

His hands slid up to Remus' waist to help the other man lift up on his cock and drop back down. He opened his eyes to see the absolute beauty that was Remus Lupin riding him as if he was born to do it.

"So good Pads, you feel so big inside me." Remus moaned, still bouncing up and down and looking absolutely debauched. "You gonna come baby?"

"Yes, yes," Sirius panted, wrapping his hand around the hard cock slapping against Remus' stomach.

Snapping his hips up, he thrust up once, twice more until the sensations of Remus squeezing tightly around him became too much and he came so hard he thought he might black out.

Remus rode him through his orgasm, slowing to a stop as Sirius relaxed, panting hard. He opened his eyes to see Remus stroking his cock faster and faster, twisting his wrist at the top and staring down at Sirius with a lust-filled gaze.

"Come on Re," Sirius said, staring into those beautiful eyes. "Come on me."

Remus let out a choked off moan at the words and threw his head back, exposing the long column of his neck. He came in hot stripes, coating Sirius' chest. Remus continued to grind down on the softening cock still inside him and Sirius moaned at the overstimulation.

Staring up at Remus in wonder as he panted through his orgasm, Sirius thought he'd never seen anything more beautiful. Reaching up and sliding his fingers through Remus' hair, Sirius pulled him down for a fierce kiss, hot and hard and eventually becoming lazy and soft as their energy ebbed away.

Remus collapsed on top of him, still situated in Sirius' lap but now with his face buried in his neck. They lay there for a few minutes in comfortable silence as their breathing slowed, before Sirius shifted; the condom starting to feel a little uncomfortable.

Remus grunted and lifted himself up, Sirius' cock sliding out of him as he moved to lie on the bed. Sirius pushed himself up and shuffled into the bathroom to dispose of the condom and wipe Remus' come off his chest.

By the time he walked back into the bedroom, Remus was curled up under the covers and the lights were switched off. Sirius hesitated for a second, debating whether to leave Remus to sleep when the other man pulled back the covers and patted the space beside him lazily.

Ignoring the fluttering feeling in his chest, Sirius slipped into bed beside him and pulled the covers up over them both. Remus sighed happily and snuggled in beside him, throwing a leg over Sirius' hips.

"So, what's the verdict?"

"Hmm?"

"How was it?" Remus' voice was rough and sleepy and Sirius just wanted to kiss him.

"It was good... _really_ good." He said honestly.

"Yeah?" Remus' face split into a smile, relief clear in his expression.

Sirius chuckled. "Yes Moony, couldn't you tell?"

Remus smirked, looking smugger than Sirius had ever seen him. "You did sound pretty happy."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Any regrets?" Remus was looking at him seriously, seeming to not understand that what they'd just done was one of the best moments of Sirius' life.

"No Remus, no regrets." Sirius leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Remus' lips, hoping the other man understood the sincerity behind the words. "There's a few more things I want to try but maybe next time."

"Next time, huh?" Remus was smirking at him again and Sirius felt his cheeks heat a little.

"I mean - if you want to." Sirius shrugged one shoulder.

"Yes, I want to." Remus grinned, leaning over him to press their lips together again and letting Sirius lose himself in the kiss.

He could definitely get used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment or a kudos if you like, I love to hear all your thoughts! Also I'd love to hear if you guys have any requests or ideas for future fics :D
> 
> Come say hi on Tumblr if you fancy a chat: [celestialwolf72 ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/celestialwolf72)


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